Wanting What They Have
by Shiikun
Summary: He should have walked away when he had the chance. No. That's a lie. He can leave anytime he wants. "The door is right there. You can leave if you want, I won't stop you." So why does he stay? Why doesn't he run like he did before? Nagisa-centric. There will be some plot at the beginning but it'll be smut eventually. Warning. Non-con and dark themes
1. Not What It Seems

_The time period will be for season 1. So season 2 doesn't matter in this fic._

 _Sorry if Nagisa seems OOC but like I said this fic is going just by season 1 and season 2 is where they get into Nagisa's character so this is my take on his way of thinking. If you don't like it please tell me why and I'll take it into consideration when I write the next chapter or just don't read the fic._

* * *

It was his own fault.

He should have just minded his own business. He shouldn't have agreed with Gou's idea to come to Haruka's house unannounced for a _meeting_. They shouldn't have just assumed that Haru was doing nothing, that he was just in the bath or something. He has known Haru for years, he knows that Haru is actually keen on having his alone time. He should have known better.

Running ahead from the others, Nagisa arrived of breath, Nagisa hunched over, panting, thought to himself why the hell he thought running up stairs were a good idea? Looking back down the stairs, he didn't see Rei or Gou behind him so he leaned against the wooden fence to wait for them. He figured he should wait since knowing them, one will scold him for leaving them behind and he would rather they did that outside than in front of Haruka.

 _'It's not my fault they're so slow. Rei-chan's the runner of the group, if anything he should have been able to catch up!'_

Nagisa groaned out in annoyance. At Rei or himself he wasn't sure. He knew that he was acting childish since he knew he was in the wrong. If Rei had ran with him, Gou wouldn't have been able to keep up and leaving her alone wasn't an option. Rei did the right call in not going along with Nagisa's game. Still it bothered him that Rei didn't even attempt to catch him to make him stop. What if something happened to him while he was ahead? A little attention was all he wanted.

Kicking the dirt on the stone floor wasn't entertaining him anymore so he pushed himself of the fence and looked down towards Makoto's house. He thought about going down there to get Makoto and use him to invite himself in Haruka's house. Makoto doesn't need an invitation to go to his 'second home' and being with Makoto extended that access to him. It was the perfect plan.  
He walked down the stair only to stop and walk back up again.

 _'Mako-chan is sick. Duh.'_

Nagisa didn't know what to do. He could always just go and be entertained by the Tachibana twins but as much fun that would be, it would also be tiresome. The twins were a lot to handle, even for him.

 _'Wait. If Mako-chan is sick, wouldn't Haru-chan go and be with him?'_

Was Haruka even home? Looking towards the house, he saw none of the lights on and even though it was still daytime and maybe an hour until sundown, if Haru was doing homework or something in his room, then the light would be on. Nagisa walked up the walkway and was about to just walk to the backdoor, when he saw the front door was slightly open. He slid open the door all the way and let himself in. Haru's name was at the tip of his tongue when he stopped himself. The atmosphere of the house felt tense to Nagisa. He didn't understand it. It felt as if he was home and walked onto his parents arguing about him. He felt a bead of sweat run down his temple. The tension was palpable and felt suffocating.  
He took a few steps until he was in front of the living room door. Raising a shaking hand, he held onto the door handle and pulled. No one was in there.

 _'So much for ripping off like a bandage.'_

He couldn't hear anything in the kitchen so he just slid the door close.  
This would definitely be easier if he would just call out Haruka's name but it felt wrong. Haruka would find him here and question him on why he was here. He didn't know why that bothered him so much, it just did.  
Turning towards the entrance, he decided that it would be best to just leave and wait outside. Fifthteen minutes only past from the time he first arrived and Rei and Gou should be here soon. As he opened the door he heard it. He was certain that he could hear a muffled noise coming from upstairs.  
Nagisa jumped as he heard a loud slap echo in the house. The slaps kept coming one after another. Some fast and others slow. He did what any other person would do in this situation.

He ran out the house and just sat on the stairs.

Nagisa is adventurous and bold, but that doesn't mean he's completely courageous. Clearly, Haruka was home and Nagisa's odd feelings were justified. Either someone was doing something to Haruka or Haruka was doing something to someone. Ugh, mouthful.  
Nagisa's buried his head into his lap and tried to think of what to do. Either Haruka was getting hurt or was hurting someone and someone had stop it. He just didn't want that someone to be him. What if he barged in and the culprit turned their attention to him. But Haruka is his friend. He couldn't just stand by and do nothing.  
Nagisa was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he barely heard the voices that we're getting louder by the minute.  
Looking up, Nagisa sees Rei and Gou walking around the corner and making their way up the staircase.

"He's not home."

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Why? Why! Why did he just lie? He could have had help from 2 other people yet he chose to keep it to himself. Nagisa internally winced at his own dumb thoughts. He already knew the answers so why bother questioning it.  
They all care about Haruka and worry for him because of his quiet personality and strange/volatile relationship with Rin. Although Haruka is taciturn and reserved, he's the glue that kept their little group together. He is loved and wanted by everyone that meets him.  
And honestly, Nagisa's jealous.  
Not jealous of the attention that Haruka gets, but in the fact that everyone wants to be closer to him. It's so selfish of him. Makoto is the only exception to this jealousy, even Haruka being with Rin made him jealous. Makoto and Haruka's relationship is something that Nagisa would never mess with; their bond is unbreakable.  
Nagisa stood up and went down the steps towards the pair. As he stood in front of them, he knew what he would do, he had made his decision.

* * *

Convincing Gou and Rei to leave was difficult.

His simple answer of "I checked the house, no one was home," wasn't enough for them. Rei had suggested in just waiting a bit to see if Haruka would return. Gou agreed but Nagisa had just shrugged.

"I've been here for," pulled out his phone to check the time "... 20ish minutes already, waiting for both of you. So I doubt he'll be back anytime soon."

Rei obviously understood the logic behind Nagisa's words but Gou argued and insisted in waiting for Haruka to return.

Nagisa was this close to yelling at Gou. What was the point of this stupid meeting anyway? Today club activities were cancelled and today should have been a day-off but no, Gou insisted that we go to Haruka's house for a meeting. Who was she kidding. She just wanted to come here to be with her precious Haruka-senpai and needed an excuse. Seriously, do the Matsuoka family all have yearnings for the impassive boy?

Gou finally gave up when the sky started to change from blue to a light orange.

"My mom's probably wondering where I am… It seems like we came here for nothing."

Did it not occur to her or for the matter of fact, Rei that they could have visited their sick friend, who lived a house down the hill. Nagisa scowled at the recent memory. Why wasn't his word enough for them? Did they really think he would lie to them? I mean he did. But that wasn't the point. He needed Gou and Rei to leave so he could set his plan into action. So he was grateful that they hadn't thought of visiting Makoto. He needed Makoto for his plan.

After telling Rei that he was going to visit the Tachibana household and guilted him into not accompanying him by telling him that he needed to walk Gou, he walked over to Makoto's house. He rang the doorbell and waited. He could hear the twins trying to get to the door. But at the end the one who opened was Mama-Tachibana herself.

"Nagisa-kun! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Good Evening ! How's Mako-chan?"

"Um, I'm not sure what you mean by that? Doesn't he have swim practice with you today?"

 _Shit. What?_

"Club activities were cancelled today. Mako-chan said that he wasn't feeling well today so I thought he would have gone home right after school."

"Oh! Well he hasn't been home, knowing him he's probably at Haruka-chan's house making sure he does his homework or something. Ah wait! Today is Monday! He probably went to buy groceries with Haru-chan. You know that boy needs to eat better! If it weren't for this family, he probably would eat nothing but Mackerel, but that was most likely earlier today. Nevermind, he's probably at Haru-chan's house."

"Ok! Thank you."

* * *

 _'So Mako-chan lied to us? Lied to his mother? Wow I never would have thought'_

Nagisa wasn't sure what to do at this point. Right now he was sitting on one of the stairs staring at his phone. He tried calling Makoto but he didn't answer. He stared at the group chat that Makoto had made, stating that he wouldn't be in school today because he was feeling under the weather.

Makoto skipping school isn't something he would normally do. Haruka skipping today made more sense seeing that he usually doesn't go if Makoto doesn't.

Nagisa's eyes widen in alarm.

 _'The slaps. Were… were they fighting?'_

That bond that Nagisa respected, the bond that he longed to be apart of, was it endanger?

Nagisa stood up and turn towards Haruka's house. He had to be sure. He needed to know they was safe.

So he ran.

* * *

Authors Notes: **I'M SO SORRY TO THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED MY OLD FIC**. It has been a whole year and I never updated or anything. I'm so sorry for the long wait. Reviews and criticism would be very appreciated. I just update when I have time, so there isn't a specific day that I update. If anyone would want to give me ideas or help me with this story just comment here or on tumblr: shiikun23 They encourage me to keep writing and I would like to know what you guys like about this fic.


	2. Curiosity Killed the Cat

_'_ _What was I thinking?! What could I possible do?'_

Nagisa was currently standing outside of Haruka's house. He couldn't just barge in there, actually yes, yes he could. But what would he actually do when he confronts them. Makoto is the strongest person he knows: physically and mentally. So why would they physically fight each other? Haruka must realize that he couldn't beat Makoto. Unless Makoto was the one who started it? In that case, Nagisa doesn't stand a chance. Think about it he probably isn't strong enough to even beat Haruka.

Nagisa felt like screaming. None of it made sense. Makoto, Haruka, and fighting didn't belong in the same sentence.

Because he was lost in his thoughts, he failed to notice the light of the hall turn on. It wasn't until Makoto's voice broke through his anguish thoughts.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow, Haru-chan! Please be ready by the time I get there. It's getting late, so finish your English homework. Call Rin if you have to."

"Sure."

The door was starting to open when Nagisa finally moved. He moved to the side of the entrance and watched Makoto walk outside. Makoto.. Looked fine. There were no bruises visible to him. It looked like nothing had happened to him. He even had his usual cheerful smile. No wait. Nagisa narrowed his eyes on Makoto. He barely could suppress the gasp that left his mouth. Handprints. Around Makoto's neck. He was sure of it.

From Nagisa's view, he couldn't see Haruka but if Haruka didn't have any bruises on him then it's obvious what was happening. How could someone look so happy when they were being abused?

Soon Makoto was out of sight. Nagisa let out the breath that he was holding in. He decided that he would worry about it tomorrow and talk to Makoto on his own. But when he was about to walk away from Haru's house, his phone started to ring.

 _'_ _Shit Shit Shit'_

Nagisa opened his phone and shut it as fast as he could. He pressed himself against the wall, hoping that Haruka was already upstairs finishing his homework. After 5 minutes, he decided it was safe to go home. When he made it to the train station, he check his phone and saw that it message from Makoto.

 _'Sorry I didn't answer! I had my phone off! I felt better earlier this afternoon and went to help Haru-chan with a few errands. Thank you for coming over but please don't visit me when I'm sick. I wouldn't want to get you sick! I'll see you tomorrow at school okay? :)'_

How can he keep a straight face tomorrow knowing what had happened.

* * *

When Makoto left, Haruka started to get ready to take a bath. After what he and Makoto did, he definite needed one. But he was good person and helped Makoto clean himself up before he left. He was impressed with Makoto's stamina, he was sure that he would be limping but instead he walked perfectly, like nothing had happened.

 _'_ _Maybe I'm getting soft on him?'_

As he thought about how to improve himself, he grabbed clean towels from the closet. Just as he was about to walk back to the bath, he heard something. It sounded like a tune of some sort but he stopped as soon as it started. Weird.

* * *

The shower was brisk. He wondered how much of the white substance going down the drain was actually soap or shampoo.

They had been going at it all day today. Makoto told the group that he was sick and came to Haruka's house when he left for "school." Yesterday, Haruka had told Makoto to skip school with him just to see if he would obey. It wasn't a test. Not this time anyway but if it had been, he would have passed. He honestly didn't think he would actually do it but Haruka wasn't complaining. It was a good reminder of where their relationship stands. Although Haruka wasn't actually part of most of the messy parts this time, Makoto still managed to dirty him.

Haruka walked over to the bathtub and put his index finger in, it had cooled down enough.

His foot barely touched the surface of the water when his phone rang. Grumbling because his precious bath time was interrupted, he reluctantly got his foot out and grabbed his towel. He walked out of room and made his way to the living room, where he had left his phone.

Flipping open his phone, he pressed it to his ear.

"Look if you're calling because of the bruises on your neck—"

 _"_ _We may have a problem."_

The tone of Makoto's voice made Haruka pause.

"What's wrong?"

 _"_ _My mom told me that Nagisa came by to see me. By the way she was talking, Nagisa didn't tell her that I didn't go to school. But she told Nagisa that I was probably at your house. Do you think he heard anything? What if he—"_

"Oh! That's why that sounded so familiar! I heard his ringtone a bit after you left."

 _"_ _He knows then. What are we going to do?"_

"You mean 'you.' What are you going to do."

 _"_ _Wha—"_

Haruka felt his lips shift into a sneer. "I have a plan."

* * *

Lunch proved to be interesting. Nagisa, of course was trying to get food from Rei's bento. So Rei kept yelling at Nagisa to stop. After a few minutes of this, Haruka and Makoto finally arrived.

"Good morning Haruka-senpai, Makoto-senpai!"

Haru just nodded his head towards them while Makoto returned the greeting. When they all finally got settled in. Gou decided that since they didn't meet over the weekend because of Makoto being sick, that they would have a small meeting about what they'll do at practice today. Makoto became stiff at the mention of him being sick but then relaxed just as quickly. No one had noticed.

No one but Nagisa.

Nagisa tried not to show that he was staring at Makoto. It still seems like Makoto was okay but he had to make sure. Looking at his neck he saw that there were no marks. He could have sworn he saw bruises yesterday. He didn't noticed how long he was staring at him until Makoto let out a startled gasp.

"I forgot I have to help Koike-san with her homework! "

"Huh? What girl? Is she in your class? Is she pretty?"

"If I may ask Makoto-senpai, what homework you are helping her with? Maybe I could be of assistance?"

With Gou and Rei bombarding questions at Makoto. Haruka grabs his bag and turns to Nagisa.

"Here." Haruka pulled out a big a strawberry flavored Ramune.

Nagisa gasped and jumped onto Haru to give him a hug. For a moment it seems that Nagisa forgot his suspicion of Haruka abusing Makoto all because of a soft drink. Silly.

"Thank you Haru-chan!"

With Nagisa's shout of gratitude, Gou and Rei turned back towards them.

"What about us Haruka-senpai!?" Both shouted at Haruka.

Haruka just turned his head away from them and didn't explain himself. Now that Gou was yelling at Haruka and Rei trying to stop Nagisa from drowning down the drink in one go. Makoto took that opportunity to get away without being noticed.

Makoto went to tell his teacher that his mother called and that his little sister didn't feel well and that she can't pick her up and that he'll have to go. With Makoto being.. well Makoto, his teacher gave him permission. He got his homework and was allowed to leave. He did leave the classroom but didn't leave the building. Instead he went to the hallway where the 1st year students had their classes and went to the bathroom there.

The bathroom was empty but that didn't matter to Makoto. He went to the stall farthest from the door and closed it behind him. Now all he needed to do was wait.

* * *

When Nagisa made it to the restroom, it was empty. Or so he thought.

He was regretting drinking the whole Ramune and drinking the 2 cartons of milk he brought for lunch. He went to the urinal furthest away from the door. As he pulled down his zipper, he felt a hand on his shoulders. He turned his head towards the person behind him and was surprised to see Makoto.

"Mako-chan? What are you doing—"

With complete astonishment, Nagisa felt himself be pulled into a bathroom stall and pushed to be seated on the toilet. When he was finally out of his shock, he noticed that Makoto was kneeling in front of him and he had pulled off his pants and underwear and put it on top of the toilet cover. Leaving his lower half completely bare.

"M-Makoto! What the fu—"

"Nagisa please lower your voice. Someone could walk in any second and I don't think you would want anyone to see you like this."

Makoto put his hand on top of Nagisa's right thigh, gently putting force on it to keep it down. With his right hand he grabbed Nagisa's dick and started to move his hand up and down slowly.

"This is your first handjob right, Nagisa? I promise I'll make this feel as good as possible for you."

Nagisa started to pant lightly because of this but at the same time it slightly hurt with Makoto's dry hand and the pressure of needing to pee.

"You like this right? I bet it hurts with the friction, but you're like me. You like a bit of pain." To emphasize, Makoto squeezed until Nagisa whimpered. He continued the handjob until Nagisa got half hard. When Makoto deemed him ready he let go of Nagisa. He got another whimper out of which caused Makoto to smile.

"I'm sorry. Is it too much? Want me to slow down?

"Mako-chan," Nagisa whispered. He sucked in a air to continue speaking. "Why are you doing this?"

"Well you were staring at me earlier today. So I thought maybe this is what you wanted."

"A stare really doesn't mean anything, I was jus— AH! NO DON—"

Not wanting to hear Nagisa finish his sentence. Makoto put Nagisa's cock in his mouth. He pulled back and he started to lick the around the tip. "Aww~ Your foreskin hasn't pulled back! Let's fix that shall we?" With his thumb and index finger he pinched the foreskin lightly and started to pull downwards. Nagisa let out a startled gasp which quickly turned into a whine. It hurt. It hurt so much. Yet his cock was getting harder. He couldn't wrap his mind around that Makoto was indeed doing this. He never imagined that his first sexual experience would be with one of his best friends, let alone a guy.

"Wow… No smegma. You take care of yourself so well."

Makoto sucks downward before going back up. When he reaches the tip, Makoto sucks him inside, hollowing his cheeks and using his tongue to lick the slit. Nagisa groans, precum is already coming out from the tip and Makoto just keeps licking it up.

"Ma-AH-koto please.."

Makoto sucks harshly on the tip one last time before he lets go of it with a loud pop. Some of Nagisa's precum was on his lips so Nagisa watched at he licked his lips shyly. Makoto kept rubbing Nagisa's dick up and down with his hand.

"Yes Nagisa? What is it?"

Nagisa had caught his breath and was about to speak when the door opened.

 _'_ _No, no, no.'_

They were going to be caught. Someone will hear them and tell a teacher who will tell the principal and then they'll be expelled.

 _'Correction: What Makoto is doing. I NEVER agree to this.'_

He could hear the person go into a stall near them.

Nagisa quickly covered his mouth and prayed that whoever was next to them couldn't smell what was happening next to him. He turned his gaze at Makoto, who in returned winked at Nagisa. Nagisa started to shake his head desperately trying to tell Makoto to not do anything. What happened next was either the best or the worst thing that has ever happened to Nagisa in his life. Makoto let go of his dick and put the whole thing in his mouth, until it hit the back of his throat. Nagisa would have shouted if he hadn't been already covering his mouth. Makoto's eyes widened, he forgot to do the most important part of deepthroating! He looked up at Nagisa and purposely gagged.

The boy from the next stall heard the gag; he asked if he was okay.

Makoto pulled his head back and replied

"I'm okay." He started coughing for a few seconds. "I'll feel even better once I let it out."

"You want me to get the nurse after I'm done?"

Makoto once again took Nagisa's dick all the way down his throat choking himself on Nagisa's cock. Once again pulling back and gasping for air "No no. I'll go to her after I'm done in here. Thank you anyway. Please don't worry about me."

Nagisa isn't even sure if the guy responded back to Makoto. After Makoto finished telling him not to call the nurse he kept deepthroating him. Nagisa could barely see past the flashing white lights in his sight. He could feel tears going down his cheeks, trying to keep down his voice. It was so good. So so good. He wanted it to stop yet he wanted it to continue. He could feel everything Makoto was doing to him. He could feel when his dick hit the back of Makoto's throat. Can feel his tongue on his cock's frenulum. Nagisa felt like sobbing, he never wanted this to end.

 _'What am I saying?'_

No longer was Nagisa holding back moans but holding back sobs.

 _'_ _This is just body reacting. I don't want this! I wanna go home!'_

Makoto stopped when he felt Nagisa's legs shaking. He saw the look of agony on Nagisa's face and felt a twinge of empathy.

 _'_ _Is this how I looked liked before?'_

Now that Makoto stopped. Nagisa's mind started to clear up. His senses were coming back to him. He could hear the faucets running outside, toilets and urinals flushing near him, other people's voices in the bathroom. How long have they been here? Did class already start? He felt his himself starting to panic. What if one of them heard them. What if he didn't muffle his voice good enough. These are 1st year students. They'll never shut up about how they heard some lucky guy getting some in the bathroom. And by then the whole school will know. Oh god anything but that.

Makoto lifted himself up and pulled Nagisa into a slight hug. He guided Nagisa's head onto his shoulder and rubbed his back soothingly.

 _"_ _Hey Hey, it's okay."_ He whispered. _"Shhh, I'm going to make you feel even better so relax. No one is going to notice. Just keep covering your mouth. Or would you rather I kiss you? Handjob or blowjob, choose Nagisa."_

Nagisa felt his heart stop when he heard a voice calling out to him.

 _Rei._

Rei is in the same class as him. Rei must have realized that he was gone for so long. Who knows how long. Nagisa started to to cry even more. He can imagine how Rei would react if he caught him like this. He would look so shocked and would be to embarrassed to even talk to him, to even look at him. What if he was disgusted that he was doing it with another guy. To Makoto, his captain, his senpai! He could feel himself about to bawl, trying to escape his throat. Who would believe that Makoto was the one who pushed him in here, that pulled of his clothes and is basically swallowing his dick? Sweet, innocent, responsible Makoto would never do something like this at school. If anything. They would think it was all Nagisa's idea. He's the one who's willing to take risks, he's the troublemaker, for fuck's sake he's the one who tells the team that they should run around in their swimsuits to get new members!

 _"Blowjob."_

Was that really his voice? It sounded so broken, so quiet, so defeated.

Makoto pulled back and looked at him in delight.

 _"Alright! But can you hold my nose while we do this? I know it's kind of weird but please?"_ as he asked this, Makoto went back to crouching on the floor.

Well if he listened, the faster this will end right? Nagisa reached out and grabbed a hold on Makoto's nose. Makoto in return smiled at him. That sweet smile that would make anyone else smile back. Which is what happened. It was like Nagisa wasn't in control of his body. He felt himself return the smile and his other hand went and stroked Makoto hair back into place. At one point did he reach down and grab Makoto's hair? He didn't remember.

 _"I think you should still cover your mouth, people are still in here."_

Nagisa pulled back his hand and bit it. He nodded his head to show that he was ready. Without any hesitation, Makoto put his whole cock down his throat and stayed there. It felt good but it would feel even better if he moved his head. So why didn— Oh oh my god Makoto no no!

Makoto swallowed until he started running out of breath. Without air going into his nose, his throat squeezed Nagisa's cock more quickly. Without any warning, Nagisa let go of hand in his mouth and placed it on top of Makoto's head and pushed his head down. Letting go of Makoto's nose, he placed his hand onto the toilet seat under him and put the weight of this body onto his arm and pushed his hips up as far as he could and came. Nagisa came with a silent scream and Makoto had no choice but to swallow Nagisa's cum.

When Nagisa finally came down from his high, he let his hips relax back down onto the toilet seat. He looked down at Makoto and saw a face that he will never forget. Makoto had a deep blush covering his face and he's pupil was barely visible with how upward they were. When Makoto finally pulled his head back, drool was connecting his lips to Nagisa's dick. He let his mouth and tongue hang open, trying to sucking air into his screaming lungs.

When Makoto composed himself, he got up and leaned down towards Nagisa and grabbed his face. "That was fun, wasn't it?" He pecked Nagisa on the lips then leaned even more to whisper into his ear. When he finished, he grabbed toilet paper and wiped his mouth with it and walked out of the stall leaving Nagisa alone.

* * *

He skipped practiced that day and skipped school the next day, faking that he had a stomach ache. Not that he didn't, but it was more of a emotional ache. He left his phone off, not wanting to talk to anyone. The only thing on his mind was what happened in the school bathroom that Tuesday afternoon and what Makoto said to him before he left.

 _"You did so well for your first time. I'm so proud of you!"_

 _"You're such a good boy."_

 _"Did you like it? Please tell me you did, I tried my very best to make you satisfied."_

 _"That was the hardest you've ever came right? It felt really good right?"_

 _"I can make you feel like this anytime you want."_

 _"But I know someone that can make you feel even better. You want that right?"_

 _"You're such a good boy, Nagisa. I know you'll come, I know you won't disappoint me. It'll be nice to have someone else to play with! "_

 _He felt his body flush. His body felt hot. His hand clutched his shirt over his erratic beating heart._

 _ **"You're such a good boy."**_


End file.
